So I skipped a few days of writing talking to myself here. But that's alright! In fact I did try to do a bit last night, but its so troubling how easy it is to think of things to write when there is no keyboard or paper, yet when I sit down with either, my mind just wanders into places it should not. It was my intention to use this as tally marks. No, perhaps a guide to make sure I finally stay on track with something.

I had a nice conversation with an older, much wiser friend of mine. At some point we came to the subject of video games. And he asked me with knitted brows, "do you think you'll ever outgrow them?" And I had to think about my reply for a moment. At first glance it seems like such a childish thing to essentially waste time with. But at second glance they've become so popular, I don't know one person who does not have a 360 or PS3, at least a Wii , in their home. I'm not going to go into some long rant about why or why not video games should be taken seriously. I just don't see their existence ending any time soon. In any case, after a second of trying to picture myself not playing them in the future all I could say, with a smirk, was "I like killing people too much." Now, do I really enjoy killing people? No. Well I could not say because I've not killed a man. But I'm pretty sure I can go with no. There is just something so satisfying about getting a headshot across the map with a .50 cal and just know the bitch didn't see it coming. Especially after a long, hard day. It just comes down to escapism and really realizing how much of an escapist I am. Its actually much worse than I thought. I see this now, because I have wasted at least 70+ hours on Fallout 3 and 100+ on Oblivion, and I do not technically have both games completed. I say wasted, but I know I enjoyed each bit of the story and gameplay, not so much Oblivion. I barreled through that fucking game, I found it so boring. Not to say its a bad game, just not my taste. Trying to stay on track here, those are just two games. Two games. I've played hundreds. God, my life is sad.

I can look at my escapism two ways. The time wasting aspect, which isn't a big deal in itself, its just how much time I spend on wasting time. That aside, lets put that completely aside. The want to disconnect myself from my life has helped me write a very personal story. I have become able to take my life and all its experiences so far and place them in a different time and setting. Its not complete and I wish for nothing more than to someday soon be able to call it complete. And I was very pleased that I was able to outline a new chapter displaying the twins' affections more. I've been having some difficulty trying to figure out just how I want to make their relationship change and when and where those changes should be made. But I think that will be another night. I am tired and my hair's a tangled wet mess.

On a completely unrelated note, this made me smile.