The ram has touched the wall.

Alright then. Well I decided to write this about three hours ago, but ended up wandering away because of some small distraction. No matter. I find myself, again, wanting to change but I've only the tiniest drive to actually do so. I've come to find that my biggest obstacle to myself is myself. Every time I set out to do something, no matter how small, I find large barriers which I have constructed that I am far too lazy to climb. These barriers are quite large, like a castle's defensive walls stretching on for miles and miles, towering over me causing a strain in my neck as I try to see their tops. There are no doors, you are trapped in your comfortable, albeit rather boring world. The cancer's shell, perhaps. I cannot even begin to picture myself trying to climb all the way up, even putting hand to rock is a stretch. But is there really a need to climb? That is surely not the only way to rid myself of this obstacle. Straight through. Instead of climbing, I will take this tiny drive of mine, the smallest amount of C4 and strap it to this towering wall, then simply press a button to bring down the wall with a most satisfying explosive end. At least enough for my small frame to fit through. God knows if there's anything I can do, its press a button.

Now then, there's no going back.